A Breeder's Story

I always hear, "How can you give up your puppies"? "Don't you find it so hard to say goodbye"? Yes, it's hard to hand over a puppy that you've helped bring into this world and have taken care of for many weeks...so many poopy butts to clean...so many toys to play with....so many belly rubs to give...from that very first moment that they enter our world they need us to help them survive. Yes, some breeder's feel that instinct will take over and they can sit back and let Mother Nature do her thing. At Renaissance, we don't sit back...we open the sacs, suction the fluid out of their tiny little mouths and noses.... clamp and cut their cords...then we rub and rub and pinch.... and just like a baby, you want to hear them open up their lungs and scream..but this is just the beginning..not only do you have these tiny little lives that you've helped bring into this world, you have their beloved Moms ....you are constantly trying to make sure that they are drinking enough, that their temps are normal..that they are eating and pooping normally...not to mention the stress and anxiety involved when they are about to give birth to these little babies that grew inside of them for 63 days. Babies that we as breeders helped put there....You try not to get too excited because in the back of your mind you know that "Reality" can and WILL come along and give you a major slap in the face. A little reminder that we aren't God, we can only do everything that's humanly possible and that's it...You hold your breath until each and every puppy is born...and you can't wait for the time when Mom is all done and cleaned up, and you have all of the clean and fluffy bedding waiting to put a cleaned up Mom and her puppies inside so they can begin their lives outside of their Mother's womb. That is just the best feeling in the world when you see those little babies suckling on their Mother's teats and Mom has a look in her eyes that says, "Hey, look what I've done...see my babies....aren't they beautiful"? Oh they are just so proud and when they look up at you with those big dark eyes, it's like they are saying, "Thanks Mom...we did this together". The trust that these dogs put into us is truly amazing...you wouldn't want to do anything to let them down...your whole world revolves around them and their happiness and you do anything and everything in your power to keep them safe. You know it's not for the money because if you added everything up and you threw in the figure of 24/7, you'd probably come out with, (before taxes)..oh maybe 3 cents an hour. So why do we do this? It's a question I always find myself asking....and my answer is, just because...just because umm maybe I'm nuts...or maybe I love animals, or maybe I like to make a family happy? Maybe, all of the above?
You'll sometimes get a request that a family only wants a puppy with brown ears, or one with black ears...or they only want a white one...or they only want a boy...or they only want a girl...or they only want one with short legs, or with long legs, or one that is 8 lbs or 10 lbs or maybe even 15 lbs if they need a real sturdy one for the children...I think I'm pretty good at what I do, but certainly not THAT good....and why is that? It's because I just don't have that kind of power...Maybe I wish I did, or maybe not? Maybe it's because I watch the puppies grow from day to day and see their little personalities emerge and maybe I'm crazy, but it goes way beyond their color and sex for me. Well maybe I'm a redhead, or maybe a brunette? Only my hairdresser really knows for sure.
Ahhhh the responsibilities of a breeder...dealing with a living creature, a real life with a real heart that beats inside of it...very different from selling shoes... not that I ever sold shoes....I'm just guessing it is.
My beautiful darling Analiesa gave birth to 4 puppies last night..it was her 2nd litter...everything was perfect...a boy, then 1 hour later another boy, then 10 minutes later another boy, then 25 mins later yet another boy..as my daughter Justine just laughed and laughed and said she's having all boys...I had a dream that she was..."Oh, get out of here you little brat" ......They all look so much alike...if it weren't for the placement of the little spots on their backs, it would be difficult to tell them apart. One more pup to go....YAY...so she pushed and pushed and pushed and before I knew it 2 hours had gone by. I held off another few minutes and off to the ER we went...one thing I've learned is they never have their puppies during the week in the daytime..it's always in the evening or on the weekend....I think they do that just to make life more exciting...
One Ultrasound and one X-ray later..... it was learned that the remaining puppy had turned her little head somehow and was wedged in the birth canal...the Vets could feel her but couldn't get her straightened out...so Ana pushed and kept pushing while all the time looking up at me with those big black eyes as if to say, "Please help me" Long story short, Ana needed a C-section, and the puppy could not be saved. At that point, I just wanted my girl to be OK..that's all I could think about...my poor little girl who trusted me with every ounce of her being was looking to me for comfort. There was nothing I could do...I just sat on the floor beside the crate she was in and hugged her. Again I asked myself, "why did I do this to my sweet fun loving little Analiesa"? Sure, just beat myself up...YOU BET I DID!!
Meanwhile at home, her big sister Taylor, all 8 lbs of her, kept her puppies clean and fed, while doing the same for her own 3...Ahhh the love of sisters...something I no longer have the pleasure of..my beautiful younger sister Lisa left this world at the age of 42 stricken by Leukemia, 5 short years ago. Deep down I knew that Analiesa, my sister's namesake...(her name was Lisa Anne)....and Ana's formal name is "Renaissance Angel for Lisa" .... I'm now sure that I must have mixed it up..Lisa was the Angel that watched over her namesake last night.....and gave back to me my Analiesa.
When I picked up Analiesa at 10am this morning, she was so out of it....it just broke my heart...
She seems to be doing better...I haven't left her side...her 4 boys seem to be doing well...nursing and content...
I guess the moral of the story is......when dealing with living, breathing creatures, there is only so much you can do...because clearly there is a higher power that will always be there making the final decisions...and so we go on...or do we? I still don't really know for sure :)
Renaissance Coton de Tulear signing off and hopefully I can get a little shut eye tonight. Or maybe not?